I grew up being a very sheltered kid. I truly didn't know much about racism, discrimination, other religions (I knew they existed but I knew nothing of them), and different sexualities. From third to fifth grade I attended this one school that was connected to a mosque. Having been in a Christian household and only knowing of other religions due to the Sesame Street Christmas special, I was intrigued. I did all I could to learn about the Muslim religion. I'd learn from the students at the school, and from their parents as well. I was, however, very confused with the beliefs they held. I'd never understood why my friends said they didn't believe Jesus was God's son. Until then, I never actually understood people didn't all believe what I grew up believing. Well in fifth grade one kid at my school got me to watch asdf. Asdf was this little cartoon on YouTube that was very popular. It was stupid, yet absolutely hilarious. Now one of the jokes was where there was a doctor going up to a patient. The patient said "Doctor I think I'm a homosexual." The doctor responsed, "How can you tell?" Then the man began barfing out rainbows. At that point in my life, homosexual was a bad word. I didn't dare to use it as a joke. I don't believe I truly knew the meaning of it, but I knew not to say it. Then came sixth grade. My school was a charter school and was very small, yet larger then my previous school where there was only one kid in my grade. Now I had about twenty people in my homeroom alone, it was insanity for me. In this grade I had a best friend. We were always together, and we were always laughing and having a good time. Two or three months before the end of the school year, she began slitting her wrists with safety scissors. At that time, I never knew people inflicted pain on themselves. I thought it was stupid that people would do that cause they were sad. If I had been taught about depression earlier, I would've been able to have known about the signs of depression and helped my friend so she never cut. Also, I recall the election of 2012. By now, I knew of homosexuality. I wanted Obama to win the election because he was for gay marriage, and I said love was equal. My republican mother was disgusted by my sudden love for Obama. So gay was still not the best word for me to use. Anyways, then came seventh grade. My old best friend left the school, and this year I found more friends. This was the year I slowly formed a personality. I'd become careless when I was in trouble at school, I listened to vulgar language happily, and received the mind of a young and perverted adult. Well mid-way through the year, I watched this web movie-which lasted forty minutes-called Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog. This starred Neil Patrick Harris as the main character. Now I didn't know Neil was gay yet, I just loved his acting skills right after I watched that movie. So I began to get into him, watching How I Met Your Mother and such. Later I found out he was gay and had a family, his boyfriend David and his children Harper and Gideon. You could see the distaste on my mother's face as I spoke highly of Neil. After seventh grade was over and it was summer, I saw the film Maleficent starring Angelina Jolie. That night at the theatre, I fell in love with a female. The character played by Angelina, Maleficent. That's how I found out I was pansexual. I already had a friend who was polysexual and gender queer, and I had a straight friend who was an ally. Near the end of that summer I went camping with my mom and sister, for my dad wasn't there since my parent has been divorced for years. At this point, I slowly embraced the urban culture I'd grown around. Despite the fact I was a suburban, white, and mid-class kid, I grew up loving urban culture. As a toddler I'd try to rap along to songs my parents would play. I loved the urban style, I loved the music, I loved it all. During this camping trip I tended to have been left alone quite a bit, and that's when I cut myself for the first time. I'd go on later to attempt suicide twice in the future. My mother was neglectful so she never noticed. And even further on, I realized I was a transgender. I was a boy in a girls body. Oh my parents not using the right pronouns after I came out to them made my depression worsen. The only reason I wasn't scared of what I was, was because of my polysexual friend, rap, and the Internet. My parents did virtually nothing to educate me on any of this stuff. When I was going through hard times or times of anger, I turned to my music. When I was confused about my sexuality and shit, I went online. And when I was too sad to function, my friend was always there for me. Here's the thing, I was sheltered. Now I've turned into this ball of anger, depression, hatred, and just carelessness. Parents need to teach kids about depression, sexuality, gender, and all that. Kids will find out, but it won't always be in the best way. I found out about LGBT hate because I read a story on a gay boy who was put into a coma at school for doing nothing but being gay. How horrified do you think that made me of myself? I didn't want to be bullied like that! And now I'm rebelling, expressing my views everywhere I go. Kids need to know about the world. Parents need to show them the truth. Or else society will. And it will not be good.
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What This Section is For:Being a member of this community, this blog will be for rants on non accepting people, cute little posts, and advice on things. |